“Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. (John. 19:25–27).

Before he painfully uttered his rejection by his Father and in the anguish of pains gave up the ghost, Jesus in that six hours miserable state and look, still gathered strength to point to love and a new era of relationship that to me is the model on which two hearts in love should seek to live together. From the sadder spectacle of woe flowed the sweet affirmation of God’s mind on issues of family relationships and roles.

In my excitement of finding love again, in looking into the eyes of the one I love as though the gates of heaven are opened unto me, I had this scriptural admonishing ring in my ears as a commandment as that of God to Moses with the Ten Commandment. Mount Sinai would not be the place of encounter but on a soft tender sofa of a bed in nightly sleep. It was me battling reassurance from God if My Beloved Louisa was indeed meant for me and as to whether I had made the right choice in hearing from God. 

For there stood by me this night the angel of God. – Acts 27:23

The assurance was certain and clear with even a charge to me: “Behold thy love, for she will bring you joy.” 

As I take the path that will eventually lead me to marriage, I have become aware of the mixed stories I’ve read and heard about the bliss and curses of the marital home. In most instances, the joy of the marriage ceremony is soon replaced by the torment of unhappy home while in others, the blessedness of the wedding and with its wishes live lasting in the marriage. 

Marriage counsellor Amara Van-Lara says marriage is a divine calling. Then God knows how to give good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:11). I believe no matter what others may have gone through or experience, God isn’t going to give me a bad marriage. Absolutely not the God I know. That is my faith and my faith has to come with action knowing faith without work is dead.  If marriage was instituted by God, then it has much to do with faith. 

I speak of love with the full conviction of the warrior in me to stay true to the vows I will proclaim in front of everyone to this special person I will my wife. 

Van- Lara says marriage is between a man who has a personal relationship with God and an understanding of God’s love for humanity who LEAVES the world, friends, family, and the society and CLEAVES to a woman (not girl) who keeps herself in God’s loving arms; a woman who is continually preparing and equipping herself with those virtues and attributes that her husband will need to grow and prosper in life’s purpose.

That is the kind of woman I have found. Soon, the wait will be over but her faithfulness in these months are what warm and nourish my faith in her. She has laid down everything to be with me. Not many would take the stand she had taken to lay down her calling to join me. 

A dilemma I had to encounter from family, friends and the church was as to whether I was going to leave my church and follow my lover when we marry considering she was an ordained minister. I needn’t do the impressing. She had a choice already and was willing to lay aside her role to be with me to share my vision together. What greater sacrifice can anyone offer than this. 

The obvious dissatisfaction had been registered in many but time has brought a closure to this to embrace the choice of a lady I so love and have come not only to admire and respect but placed her in the class of an inspirers. She has been the brain behind this successful planning of a marriage ceremony. Her industrious makes me wonder where I learnt my trade from. Am happy to have a woman who will manage my home in season and out of seasons. 

May God bless her heart, provide her needs, grant her strength to take care of her home. May she be a fountain of wisdom, a mother to many, a compassionate woman, a lover of her husband and children and above all the unctions to be successful in the vineyard business. 

My Louisa, My First Lady, I honour the opportunity to spend the rest of my growing life with you. I love you, will love you till the end of our vows we shall take. God, give me the heart to love her passionately and unconditionally. The heart of patience to accommodate her and spirit to look on her strength more than her weakness. May I be the teacher, friend, brother, lover, counsellor and pastor she had always wanted. 

Bless my steps and order my journey of marriage.